Roast My Landing Page

Brutal-but-fair roast of your landing page in 30 seconds.

Step 1 of 1

Drop your URL.

  • No signup
  • Result in <30s
  • Output is yours to keep

What is KAIROS

A marketing team that ships. On autopilot.

Not another chatbot. Not another generator. KAIROS is 10+ specialized AI agents that run your marketing the way a real team would — every week, in your voice, with the work actually shipped.

01

Plug in your site

We read your product, your voice, who you sell to. Two minutes, no setup.

02

Meet your 9-agent team

Specialists for content, SEO, distribution, ads, analytics. One team lead routing everything.

03

Wake up to the work shipped

Posts published, articles ranked, audits done, comments replied to. Every week, in your voice.

  • Free trial available
  • Cancel anytime
  • Writes in your voice
  • Built for indie & SMB

Try KAIROS free

Get a marketing team that ships.

KAIROS is the AI marketing team that does — every week — what this tool just did in 30 seconds. 10+ specialists, one team lead, all in your voice. No hires. No agency fees.

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On Roast My Landing Page specifically

This roast is one frame. KAIROS gives you a real CMO who watches your landing page evolve every week — and ships fixes.

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What is a landing page roast?

A landing page roast is a fast, blunt critique of your page's messaging, clarity, and conversion gaps — the things quietly costing you signups.

Polite feedback is useless. "Looks great, maybe tweak the button" doesn't tell you why visitors land, squint, and leave. A roast does the opposite. It goes for the parts that aren't working: the headline nobody understands, the hero that talks about you instead of them, the call-to-action buried under three paragraphs of throat-clearing.

This one reads your actual page and grades it on what moves conversion. Does the headline say what you do in about five words? Is the value obvious above the fold? Is there one clear next step? Does the copy talk to the visitor, or about you? You get a score out of 10 and a list of specific, fixable problems, ordered by how much they're hurting you.

It's harsh on purpose, but it's fair. The point isn't to make you feel bad. It's to show the gap between what you think your page says and what a cold visitor actually reads in the four seconds before they bounce.

Why this exists

You're the worst possible judge of your own landing page. You know what the product does, so the headline makes sense to you. A first-time visitor has none of that context and decides whether to stay in about four seconds. The blind spot is structural, which is exactly why outside eyes help.

Most landing-page advice is a generic checklist. "Add social proof, use a strong CTA." Fine, but which line on your page is the problem? You need feedback on the words you actually shipped, not a listicle of best practices.

It's free and fast because the first fix is usually obvious once someone points at it. You shouldn't need a $2,000 CRO audit to be told your headline is a mystery.

How it works

  1. 1Paste your landing page URL. We load the page the way a visitor would.
  2. 2We read your headline, subhead, hero, calls-to-action, and body copy — the parts that decide whether someone stays.
  3. 3We grade it on what actually converts: clarity, value above the fold, a single obvious next step, and copy that speaks to the visitor.
  4. 4You get a score out of 10 and a ranked list of problems, worst first, each with what to change.

Frequently asked

Is the roast actually useful, or just mean?

Useful first, blunt second. Every problem comes with what to change and why it matters. The tone is sharp so it sticks, but it's pointing at real conversion issues, not your color scheme.

What does it actually check?

Headline clarity, whether your value is obvious above the fold, the strength and visibility of your main CTA, and whether the copy is about the visitor or about you. Those four things drive most landing-page conversion.

Will it work on any landing page?

Any public URL that loads normally — SaaS, app, newsletter, course, agency. If the page sits behind a login or heavy JavaScript that blocks crawlers, the read gets thinner.

How is this different from a heatmap or A/B test?

Heatmaps and tests tell you what's happening, but they need traffic and time. This tells you the likely why in 30 seconds, before you've spent either. Fix the obvious stuff here, then test the rest.

Do you store my page?

We read the public page to generate the roast and cache the result briefly so a re-run on the same URL is instant. Nothing beyond that.

I fixed the issues. Now what?

Re-run it to confirm the score moved, then point the roast at your pricing page. The pages that lose the most signups are usually the landing page and the pricing page, in that order.

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